I want to start this week’s Blog, not talking about myself…for a change. I want to remember my parents and the scarifies they both made during the 5 long years of  WWII. In 1940, when they were 20, the war had begun. They decided to get married before Dad joined the Canadian Navy. He sailed on one of Canada’s oldest fighting Corvettes, the HMCS Sackville, now docked in Halifax, as a Naval Memorial. He sailed out of Halifax, protecting the convoys in The Battle of the Atlantic. I am so proud of him and my Mom who travelled across Canada to offer her love and support during these troubled times.

As an expression of my gratitude to you and all veterans, I will try to live by the words that I utter, taking action in support of my beliefs.

Dad, 5 years at sea, fighting for our freedom

Mom, loving her Sailor


Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge, as indispensable as poetry

-Anais Nin

The 1990 movie, ‘Henry and June’, was nearly my undoing. The movie depicts the love triangle between Henry Miller, his wife June and the writer, Anais Nin. Although this occurred a decade before I discovered  my husband’s infidelity, I intuited then, that he had Miller’s predilection for a bohemian lifestyle, including machinations with other women. To be honest we were both intrigued by the idea of lives lived outside the strictures of marriage in middle America, but my fear of being abandoned superseded any curiosity I may have had. I then created the most hideous and wicked fight and refused any further conversation on or near this subject… for 22 years.

Henry, is he in control?

The Universe has a way of making fun of us and our fears! Of the millions of movies that have been made, guess which one was put in front of me to discuss? Here is how this tale unfolded.

D walked into my life, while I was hunting for a new kitchen with my friend, Lori. He designs and builds… a carpenter…just like the man in the lives of my 2 Marys. D was one of the saving graces from last Saturday. He had come by my cottage that day, to discuss design options for the kitchen. We talked animatedly, and with ease, for at least an hour before he stood up abruptly and pulled out his tape measure. I thought he might be interested in me the woman, as much as me the customer, when he said, “I’ll take your measurements and then be on my way.” Women and men, in Freudian slips…my favourite source of humour.

Freud, hoisted by his own petard!

So, this past Friday, D returned to my cottage, after his day of work, ostensibly to discuss the design he had created. (Is my writing filled with double entendres today?) Friday evening, over wine and food, symbolically… life and understanding, I conversed with D. A few days before, he had asked to read my blog, which has been off limits to the men I may be interested in. After reflecting, I agreed to send him the link. His open-hearted sensibility established my trust. I warned him that he was and may continue to be a source of discussion on The Other Woman Blog, but he remained unfazed.

At the 2 hour point of the evening, D asked if I had seen the movie, Henry and June. My colour heightened, my blood pressure rose…my body shut down my ears, as I thought to myself. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Not again. The most interesting man I have met in ages and he’s no different…intrigued by other women, while he sits with me…as I sank into reverie, no longer listening, I planned a way to end the evening.

And then a word D said broke through my barrier…something about me and Anais Nin…I looked up, taken aback. He was saying something completely unexpected. He was noting the parallelism of my journey, recorded in this Blogmoir, to Anais Nin’s exploration of her femininity, depicted in the movie.(based on her diary) I was taken aback for several reasons. First of all, a man referencing an indie movie about relationships? Incredulous! Secondly, he did not talk about Henry, or the male perspective…but most importantly, he understood my journey and was actually interested in me and my foray to the wild side. Through this discussion with D, I was embarrassed to realize that back in 1990, I had entirely missed the point of the movie. The story was Anais’s, never Henry’s. She was a woman defining her life, making choices that interested her, outside the conventions and restrictions of traditional life. 

Anais, contemplating her position with her husband and Henry Miller

Aspirations for Week 19 OF 52


Comments and Advice to a Virgo, from any and all of the Astrological signs.

Virgo, you are a pain in the ass. Stop regulating your breathing and stop color-coordinating the  items in your shopping cart. Please let me hear you fart, just once. Obsessive-compulsive disorder? A nice euphemism for the word “Virgo”. Virgo, you use pointers, markers and elaborate charts to describe the metaphysical. You have a special toothbrush, just for tile grout. Virgo, surrender your brush collection, your brooms and sponges and your coveted squeegee collection, and lower the buttons on your blouse so I can see your neck. I appreciate that you love to do anyone’s laundry, but when you separate everything by colour and fabric and end up with 14 loads of 3 things apiece, it really makes me want to sic a naked Aquarius on you.

At Suzanne’s suggestion and the countless friends and family members who have given me similar ‘tips’, I am going to become The Unbuttoned Virgo!

Just to prove it, I am going to break a few rules today…(inner judgmental voice…bad bad virgo)… I’m posting on the WRONG day and I am UNDER the word count  and I’m going to Victoria without a to-do list.

So for Week 19 of 52, I will be THE UNBUTTONED VIRGO

The Unbuttoned Virgo