Archives for category: the other woman




Here it is Week 52 of 52! Logical time to write a summary blog, reflecting on my powerful and transformative year. But then some thoughts began to skip through my mind. It’s too soon to know the full impact of writing from my heart… and I want to play…it’s summertime!






Throughout the year of theotherwomanblog, I have paid attention to impactful images and incidents. If something caught my eye or made my stomach lurch or left me in awe, I took note, trusting that this physiological response delivered a message of value. Up until theotherwomanblog, I relied on my mind almost exclusively. I gave little credence to my instinctual nature…my 6th sense, gut reactions or intuitive flashes. I believed this was old school hooey…along with Shamans, Psychics and Intuitive Healers. I honoured the very masculine, left-brained, Scientific Process.

But my Blog’s goal has been to unearth and explore the mystery of femininity in an effort to create psychological and physical balance. I’ve had to learn the ancient art of Symbology, so that I could bring meaning to poignant images and experiences. This skill may seem counter-intuitive or irrelevant in these modern times, but my wildly exciting year says otherwise. These vibrational, visceral reactions, once interpreted, became the cornerstones of my transformation. A heretofore buried complex or issue would burble to the surface, where my conscious, thinking adult self could dissect it, and eventually become free of the complex and its undermining grip. This is the therapeutic process, done without the therapist, the couch, prescriptions or money.

For example – Goose as Spiritual Guru

I came across the Canada Goose, pictured above, during Week 21 of 52 Changing My Lipstick to Red. This powerful and disturbing incident, has been pivotal to the unfolding of my key complex. This complex centred on the fact that my ‘successful adult’ persona, hid the dispirited, broken-hearted woman within. 

Symbolic Interpretations from Goose Image

1. The lone goose, separated from her life-long partner, helped me to accept that the characteristics of my complex prevented me from enjoying a successful and loving relationship with a man.

2. The shooting of the goose by an arrow, brought Cupid to my mind…thus reminding me to focus on issues of the heart…love enjoyed, love lost, love still to come!

3. The position of the arrow in the Goose’s foot triggered a question. “How am I shooting myself in the foot?” When this Goose sighting occurred, I was struggling to feel confident when sharing my writing. This query helped me to see that I must stop letting others’ reactions define my value as an artist! My ‘artist’s voice’ was just that…one voice amongst billions…no less…no more!

4. I gathered hope for my eventual salvation because the bird had been wounded, not killed. With immediate attention to my issues I might prevent the wound from festering…thus avoiding death.

This was a harsh lesson, delivered by the horrific wounding of a Goose. To another person, this wounded Goose would have been just that…a wounded Goose. As Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” For an image or an event to be significant and therefore transformative, it must grab your attention…likewise though, you must be open to receive!

Sometimes a cigar is just that...a cigar!

Sometimes a cigar is just that…a cigar!


Every city I have lived in, except for my present home on Vancouver Island has experienced, is experiencing or will experience catastrophic flooding this Spring…this list includes The Pas, Winnipeg, Banff, Calgary, Bragg Creek and Vienna… As I have watched this unfold throughout June, I feel sorrow for all who have been impacted. The power and unpredictability of water, leaves me terrified. I have vowed to sell my waterfront cottage after every ferocious winter storm, but recant once the threat passes. But now, with all the flooding of my home towns, what is the Universe telling me? Are these floods symbolic in some way…denoting a cleansing, or purifying of past wrongs…signifying a fresh start, as water is a universal symbol of change? Or is the flooding of everywhere I have lived a PREMONITION? Sell up now, and move to higher ground before you too are swamped!

Below is a 3 minute video I took while standing in my living room, in the cottage, during a winter storm. Then I have images of all 6 flood zones…HELP ME DECIDE! When is a cigar just a cigar? Should I sell and move? At the end of this post is a poll. Please VOTE!


Vienna's Danube River Flooding in June 2013

Vienna’s Danube River Flooding in June 2013

The Flooding of VIENNA June 4th 2013     I lived here from 1991-1998

The Flooding of BANFF NATIONAL PARK  June 20th 2013    I lived here from 1972-1973

The Flooding of BRAGG CREEK June 20th 2013   I lived here from 1990-1991 and 1998-2011

Murray took this video as he was leaving Bragg Creek

The Flooding of CALGARY June 21 and still ongoing. 2013   I lived here from 1980 to 1990

Winnipeg Floods 2013

Winnipeg Floods 2013

The Flooding of WINNIPEG June 21 2013    I lived here from 1965-1972 and 1973-1980

Floods Predicted for The Pas Manitoba in 7-10 days    I was born here and left in 1965



The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us.

– Marianne Williamson


Unearthing the Un-lived Life

As I near the end of my year long journey, I am excited to begin the process of summarization. The otherwomanblog has concluded a decade of transformative steps, culminating in an epiphany of spirit. An epiphany, that wondrous and sudden realization of a great truth, seems to occur in a split second, but in reality, comes after a period of dedicated work…work which expands and deepens the interconnectedness of body, mind, psyche and soul. This process is necessarily slow, ensuring we maintain psychological stability, thus avoiding an imbalance that might see us in a straight jacket.

Psychological Equilibrium is Critical

Psychological Equilibrium is Critical

Psychological equilibrium is as critical to the body’s health as temperature, blood sugar, acidity/alkalinity etc.

In my 40’s I was drawn to novels about women who had walked away from the very lives they had spent decades creating. Metaphorically, women ‘dropped their aprons to the floor‘ as they turned away, leaving their kitchens…their homes…their workplaces…their lives. It was as though these women, seemingly against reason and on a whim, walked away from everything they had achieved. Eventually, they would resurface, often in remote settings and in reduced circumstances, but on a personal mission from which they would not be budged. Friends and family, left behind, would attribute such uncharacteristic and bizarre behaviour to a “mid-life’ crisis. In hindsight, I realize that my drive to read about women making unexpected turns in mid-life acted as a preparatory foreknowledge for the psychological and physical struggle which was about to unfold in my life.  

So much ink has been spilled trying to define and understand the mid-life crisis. Stereotypes abound!

Are These Women to be Admired or Shunned?

Possibly the answer lies in the psychic depth to which a woman in mid-life crisis goes! If the process stops at the ego, manifesting in the purchase of a ‘hot’ car or ‘hot’ bed-partner, a facelift or a tummy tuck, shunning may be justified. But if instead the woman attempts to fulfill her higher calling, by restoring wholeness to her personality, then I feel such a woman is to be admired. I have come to believe that each of us has a talent, a passion, unique to our soul. And when this passion is pursued and shared with others, the world is made just a little brighter!

In the first half of my life, like most, I gained an education, life skills, a career, a family…demonstrating self-discipline in a myriad of ways…all necessary tasks if one is to be a contributing member of our civilized world. But once all of this was achieved, a pesky little question erupted my calm…“Is this it?” I had to accept that although I had fulfilled numerous goals, my true calling, my life’s purpose, was still to be unearthed. 

Going Through Hell to Reach Heaven 

In my 40’s, although tantalized by the idea of women who changed the status quo of their lives, I lacked the necessary courage to take a real step away from my familiar, materially successful life. In my version of ‘transformation’, I was in control! I would decide ‘the look’ of my new life and plan its unfolding. But the picture I created was just another version of what I already knew…some ego driven perfection that would ultimately be unfulfilling. The aspect of transformation I did not want to endure was the breaking down of my ego… an ego that held rigid views of what was worthy and what constituted success…an ego full of stereotypes and prejudices…I also had to acknowledge my weaknesses and unpleasant character flaws. In short, I needed to find humility and become humble.

There is no simple, pain-free way to crack the ego. Our ego cracks through the ‘hell’ of the mid-life crisis. This ‘hell’ comes in many forms, all with the express purpose of shattering the status quo…hell may come in the form of an infidelity or a severe illness or a horrible accident or an unexpected loss of status or employment or the development of a phobia…some form of status crushing, life altering, attention grabbing event!

My life altering events came in the form of 2 near death experiences and temporary blindness. Impossible to ignore, I was forced to move away from the known, into the void that is the unknown. Healing my body restored my sight and then imperceptibly, but fantastically, I began to become acquainted with my inner riches. The struggle to heal drew me into the depths of  my soul, allowing me access to the unbounded love and creativity of the Universe. This is the Heaven that follows the Hell.

“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.”

-Henry Ward Beecher




As soon as I finished last week’s post, I began to live as I have never lived before. Feeling congruent within myself, I was excited to test my new found voice in the outside world…I felt ready to move beyond the transformative walls of my hermetically sealed cottage. In ancient times, alchemical transformations were believed to occur in the presence of three elements; the material body, the soul and the spirit. These are symbolized by the square, the circle and the triangle…the Hermetic Seal. I removed myself from old habits and familiar surroundings and went into seclusion. Living as a hermit, allowed me time to realign my material self with my soul, allowing the transformative power of a spiritual awakening to occur.

In 2004, I knew I needed a ‘room of my own’, a physical space, that would one day transform into a psychic space, separate from my husband, children and friends. A room in our Alberta home did not give me sufficient distance from my habitual dependence on those around me. Drawn by forces stronger than my fear, I scoured the coast of British Columbia searching for a place that touched my soul. 1000 km and a small cottage by the sea were the eventual solution. In my first burst of defining my boundaries, I called this lovely abode, Kathy’s Cabin. I proudly displayed a defining kitchen magnet and I bought a very feminine purple couch. For me, all bold steps. I was used to acquiescing on everything from restaurant choices to television shows. 

Marking Boundaries

Marking Boundaries

In the past I had been an industrious, methodical and earnest worker. I was accomplished, but everything I achieved missed the song of my soul. I would have regretted my very life, if I had never found my way through the labyrinth of my psyche, to reveal the spirit at my core. Above all else I wanted to feel congruence between my heart’s desire and  and my day to day endeavours. At times I felt drawn into this deeper, soulful life, at others I was dragged…against my will, but for my own good. 




I would love to live

like a river flows,

carried by the surprise

of its own unfolding.

~John O’Donohue

Surprises of the Week

The Spitters or The Deep Bay Babes

Early this week, when I was in my front garden, a group of ladies with dogs walked by. After a chatty exchange about my monkey tree, they invited me to join them on their daily walk through the forest minutes from the sand spit on which we all live. For 7 years I have wanted just such a group but never felt confident to form one, and then, just as I was ready to join the world, the group appeared…smart women walking, otherwise known as The Spitters or The Deep Bay Babes!

Sun Bow or Sun Halo

On June 4th, I saw for the first time in my life, a ring of colour around the mid – day sun. The sun bow or whirling rainbow is considered to be a sign from the Unified Field/ Creator, marking a time of great change or transformation. This full-circle rainbow around the Sun, some elders say, can be understood as a signal, entreating us to live in harmony with all plants, animals, water, minerals, fire, wind and each other. Filming such a phenomenal event with my iPhone, made me chuckle, but it captured what looked like the eye of a power beyond all power. It is the perfection and protection of this power that has given me faith to sing my song to the world. 


 One day into my sojourn to Victoria, feeling as delighted as a newly awakened Songbird, I was shocked into a state of alarm. It was a lovely sunny morning. I was enjoying breakfast at my friend Suzanne’s. We were sharing our latest stories while re-establishing a healthy caffeine to blood ratio. Our bliss was interrupted by the crunch of a Songbird against the picture window. Slightly dazed, the Songbird flew to the fence to collect herself. From the deck, Suzanne and I clucked out reassuring sounds to the beautiful, tiny bird. 

But within seconds a huge, black menace swooped down and grabbed the Songbird by the throat, ensuring it would never sing again. Appalled, I felt an immediate affinity towards this Songbird’s plight. I thought, this is a cautionary tale, Between2Marys…guard against the black menace within yourself and others, when you venture into the world. Protect your newly established voice against any swooping crow.

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