I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.

 Harry Emerson Fosdick 

REFLECTIONS

As I approach the 52nd week of The Other Woman Blog, I have 2 very strong and opposing emotions…joy and fear. I feel joy from recent manifestations of unbridled love but I also feel fear when facing the indeterminate future. The tension created between opposites has been the fundamental energy behind the transformative power of my year. Pictured below, is the image that initiated my Blog…Christ’s arms held apart, in surrender to a greater power, a greater wisdom, as He transitioned from life as he knew it, to life beyond the known. This gesture, metaphorically, became my mantra throughout the year.

Transformation Occurs in the Space Between

Transformation Occurs in the Space Between

Transformation Occurs in the Space Between the Old Life and the New Life

 I was existing in a life that no longer served me but I was far too terrified to step off the edge into an unseen, unknown, unfathomable new life. Herein lay my greatest lesson. The longer I stayed in the old, afraid to leap into the void, the deeper my feelings of depression and despair. When a dam holds back natural flow, stagnation occurs in what is contained…be that a body of water or the body of life. Self-induced repression is death to the spirit, to the soul, to the psyche and eventually to the body.

Stagnation is Death to any Body of Water or Life

Stagnation is Death to any Body of Water or Life

Stagnation Creates Dis-ease

The longer I held myself on the edge of change, too afraid to spring into the new, the greater the build up of repressed energy, the greater the symptoms of dis-ease…To trigger the Old Life/Death/New Life cycle of human transformation, a plunge into the void has to be made. So many times I stood on the edge of the familiar, ready to jump to the unknown, but I couldn’t leap. Instead, I stayed stuck in the rut of the familiar, complaining and blaming. 

We Need Courage and Desire to Face the Unknown

Vienna in July? -Transformation from Mother Mary to Mary Magdalene

I lived in Vienna for 7 years, necessitating innumerable trips between Canada and Europe. I am planning to spend July in Vienna, to celebrate the completion of The Other Woman Blog. Considering I have travelled to Europe many, many times, going this summer, should be very easy to do!

Oh but were this true!

Instead I face the fear of leaping into the unknown…travel as a free and empowered woman!

All of my previous travels to Europe were done in service to others, as wife and mother. When in the nurturing role of Mother Mary, I was purposeful and proficient…no challenge was beyond me. In 1991, with the help of my 11 year old daughter, I moved us into our new home in Vienna. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. My husband was working in Pakistan. During our 7 years, I planned family holidays throughout Europe with ease. In 1996, 1 month after my Mother died in Canada, I flew back to Vienna and organized our move to Albania. My husband was working in Tirana. I am a very competent woman…but only in service to others! Now, in trying become empowered in service to a new life purpose, I am immobilized! I am standing at the edge of the void, afraid to jump into the unknown. I am afraid because I do not and by definition, cannot know the future. What will happen to me in Vienna or worse still, will nothing happen to me in Vienna! I’m equally unnerved by both possibilities.

What will be the impetus for my leap into the void? What force is stronger than fear? I think this force is DESIRE! I must desire the new more than I fear the old, or the courage to leap will elude me. The paradox is that in wanting a new life, its characteristics must be unknown or it could not be called new! Yet it is always the unknown that frightens!

CAN I BRING COLOUR TO  MY VIENNA EXPERIENCE?

MARY MAGDALENE AS ROLE MODEL

I desire the multifaceted characteristics of Mary Magdalene, as she is described in the Gospels. She was a woman that stood by Christ through his life, his suffering, his death and beyond. To me, Christ symbolizes the life-death-new life cycle of a soulful, meaningful existence. Life, congruent with our soul is life where dreams come true, where purpose is felt, where endeavours have meaning. The earliest writings of Mary Magdalene, depict her as a woman of substance, a disciple of Jesus. Her changed status to that of prostitute, came about as the church was gripped by patriarchy. Despite her centuries-old disreputable depiction in religion, art, literature, and in recent prominent fictional books and movies, such as The Da Vinci Code, it is largely agreed today that not a shred of solid biblical or extrabiblical evidence suggests she played the role of harlot.

Thus, symbolically, Mary Magdalene represents the aspect of the strong and spiritual self that stands by in witness to the transition from the death of the old, to the resurrection of the new. The space or void one enters, symbolized by Christ’s cave, may be occupied for some time. Alone and in the dark, one must rely on inner resources for survival.

But in withstanding the pain of a psychic death, the new life, once present, blossoms with spirit, love and creativity.

I have come to believe in the power of the space between thoughts, between breaths, between stars, between old life and new!

Creativity, Love and Spirit in the Space Between the Stars!

Creativity, Love and Spirit in the Space Between the Stars!

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