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WEEK 52 OF 52 THE OTHER WOMAN BLOG IS FINISHED

WEEK 52 OF 52 – THE OTHER WOMAN BLOG IS FINISHED

REFLECTIONS

Here it is Week 52 of 52! Logical time to write a summary blog, reflecting on my powerful and transformative year. But then some thoughts began to skip through my mind. It’s too soon to know the full impact of writing from my heart… and I want to play…it’s summertime!

MY NEXT BLOG POST WILL BE FROM VIENNA!!

LOVE TO ALL

BETWEEN2MARYS

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REFLECTIONS

Throughout the year of theotherwomanblog, I have paid attention to impactful images and incidents. If something caught my eye or made my stomach lurch or left me in awe, I took note, trusting that this physiological response delivered a message of value. Up until theotherwomanblog, I relied on my mind almost exclusively. I gave little credence to my instinctual nature…my 6th sense, gut reactions or intuitive flashes. I believed this was old school hooey…along with Shamans, Psychics and Intuitive Healers. I honoured the very masculine, left-brained, Scientific Process.

But my Blog’s goal has been to unearth and explore the mystery of femininity in an effort to create psychological and physical balance. I’ve had to learn the ancient art of Symbology, so that I could bring meaning to poignant images and experiences. This skill may seem counter-intuitive or irrelevant in these modern times, but my wildly exciting year says otherwise. These vibrational, visceral reactions, once interpreted, became the cornerstones of my transformation. A heretofore buried complex or issue would burble to the surface, where my conscious, thinking adult self could dissect it, and eventually become free of the complex and its undermining grip. This is the therapeutic process, done without the therapist, the couch, prescriptions or money.

For example – Goose as Spiritual Guru

I came across the Canada Goose, pictured above, during Week 21 of 52 Changing My Lipstick to Red. This powerful and disturbing incident, has been pivotal to the unfolding of my key complex. This complex centred on the fact that my ‘successful adult’ persona, hid the dispirited, broken-hearted woman within. 

Symbolic Interpretations from Goose Image

1. The lone goose, separated from her life-long partner, helped me to accept that the characteristics of my complex prevented me from enjoying a successful and loving relationship with a man.

2. The shooting of the goose by an arrow, brought Cupid to my mind…thus reminding me to focus on issues of the heart…love enjoyed, love lost, love still to come!

3. The position of the arrow in the Goose’s foot triggered a question. “How am I shooting myself in the foot?” When this Goose sighting occurred, I was struggling to feel confident when sharing my writing. This query helped me to see that I must stop letting others’ reactions define my value as an artist! My ‘artist’s voice’ was just that…one voice amongst billions…no less…no more!

4. I gathered hope for my eventual salvation because the bird had been wounded, not killed. With immediate attention to my issues I might prevent the wound from festering…thus avoiding death.

This was a harsh lesson, delivered by the horrific wounding of a Goose. To another person, this wounded Goose would have been just that…a wounded Goose. As Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” For an image or an event to be significant and therefore transformative, it must grab your attention…likewise though, you must be open to receive!

Sometimes a cigar is just that...a cigar!

Sometimes a cigar is just that…a cigar!

2013 FLOODING – WHAT DOES THIS SYMBOLIZE?

Every city I have lived in, except for my present home on Vancouver Island has experienced, is experiencing or will experience catastrophic flooding this Spring…this list includes The Pas, Winnipeg, Banff, Calgary, Bragg Creek and Vienna… As I have watched this unfold throughout June, I feel sorrow for all who have been impacted. The power and unpredictability of water, leaves me terrified. I have vowed to sell my waterfront cottage after every ferocious winter storm, but recant once the threat passes. But now, with all the flooding of my home towns, what is the Universe telling me? Are these floods symbolic in some way…denoting a cleansing, or purifying of past wrongs…signifying a fresh start, as water is a universal symbol of change? Or is the flooding of everywhere I have lived a PREMONITION? Sell up now, and move to higher ground before you too are swamped!

Below is a 3 minute video I took while standing in my living room, in the cottage, during a winter storm. Then I have images of all 6 flood zones…HELP ME DECIDE! When is a cigar just a cigar? Should I sell and move? At the end of this post is a poll. Please VOTE!

DEEP BAY WINTER STORM FILMED FROM MY WINDOW

Vienna's Danube River Flooding in June 2013

Vienna’s Danube River Flooding in June 2013

The Flooding of VIENNA June 4th 2013     I lived here from 1991-1998

The Flooding of BANFF NATIONAL PARK  June 20th 2013    I lived here from 1972-1973

The Flooding of BRAGG CREEK June 20th 2013   I lived here from 1990-1991 and 1998-2011

Murray took this video as he was leaving Bragg Creek

The Flooding of CALGARY June 21 and still ongoing. 2013   I lived here from 1980 to 1990

Winnipeg Floods 2013

Winnipeg Floods 2013

The Flooding of WINNIPEG June 21 2013    I lived here from 1965-1972 and 1973-1980

Floods Predicted for The Pas Manitoba in 7-10 days    I was born here and left in 1965

SHOULD I MOVE? PLEASE TICK A BOX IN THE SURVEY BELOW. YOU WILL BE PART OF MY DECISION PROCESS!!

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.

Carl Jung

REFLECTIONS

THE IMAGO

Usually when I sit down to write, I have a theme that surfaces from the richness of the Unified Field. But not today. My thoughts run helter-skelter, scrambled and chaotic… I write some words, make some sentences…erase some words and then erase everything…I stare at a blank page…then start the process once more…then I glance outside and watch the robins and then I notice a butterfly and then the shadow dance of leaves in the breeze…now it’s noon…word count 3…997 to go…I’ve been wandering through my mind for 2 hours…

I, Between2Marys, feel like these minor utterances on my blank page. Like a bolt of material or a block of marble of a stack of lumber, I am caterpillar soup. If you were to cut open a cocoon or chrysalis at just the right moment, you would see neither a caterpillar nor a butterfly. You would see a liquid, amorphous mess of imaginal cells. Cells that look undifferentiated but hold the power to be eyes, wings, legs or antennae. In biology, the imago is the last stage an insect attains during its metamorphosis. It is within this final process of growth and development that the insect attains maturity.

I AM NEITHER A CATERPILLAR NOR A BUTTERFLY

Rather, I am in this embryonic phase…

Undifferentiated Cells within the Chrysalis

Undifferentiated Cells within the Chrysalis

between my old life where I dared not dream my own dreams and this new life where my dreams abound. 

The Aftermath of Last Week’s Post – Transforming the Animus

Liver Detoxification

Within minutes of ‘publishing’ week 47 of 52, I became so ill with fever, diarrhoea and vomiting, I was forced to lay on my couch for 2 days…full-on liver detoxification. It was as though  every stored disappointment, every stored sad thought, every stored anxious or enraged encounter I ever had with my father and subsequent men, oozed out of my pores, bile ducts, stomach and liver. Like cleaning the sludge from a polluted river, the troublesome contaminants (in the form of  thoughts and feelings) had to be eliminated. I was no longer the little girl forced to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself. Nor was I the needy, insecure woman, dependent on the approval of a man. As an empowered woman, launching her creative life, it was time to let go of any impediments to the free expression of my dreams. By mid-week, I walked into my garden, knowing it would become an expression of me. Gone were my feelings of reticence or incompetence. My path had become clear.

My Path is Clear

My Path is Clear

 

Similarly within the chrysalis, anything unnecessary to the life of the butterfly is destroyed by tissue dissolving enzymes. Amazingly, this highly sophisticated process , whether within the human body or the chrysalis, discriminates between that which is valuable to the new life and that which is detrimental…eliminating the detritus as part of the process.

Now, as I feel less symptomatic, I can marvel at my body’s capacity to restore and re-new itself. 

THE OTHER WOMAN BLOG

Experiencing Freedom!

Experiencing Freedom!

As the year of theotherwomanblog nears its 52nd week, I feel the burgeoning life of a wild and free woman. As I move towards the Summer Equinox, when all species come into bloom, I have the desire to break the shackles of containment and live the ‘unframed’ life…to plan far far less than I ever have… to allow instead the call of of the wild, the instinctual, the intuitive. I will invoke the ethereal guidance and support of my Spirit Guides, found beneath my mind. If I feel drawn to a book, a person, an activity or a thought, I will not question this impulse, but instead have the faith to follow.

The collage that inspired theotherwomanblog was created in a place of Spirit. I never questioned any image I was drawn to include. And only upon completion of the collage, did I understand the importance of its message.

I am posting a day early because tomorrow I am putting my work aside and driving to Victoria for some fun! For a snippet of all things Viennese, I am attending a Dramatic Reading of The Boy on the Bicycle by Peter Schnitzler. He is a film director out of Los Angeles, but was born in Vienna. He is the grandson of the very famous author, Arthur Schnitzler whose writings created quite a stir in 1900’s Vienna. The movie, Eyes Wide Shut, was based on his book, Dream Story. The theme of both centre on the fantasy of breaking free of societal mores…a fitting topic for a wild and free woman.

Sexual Fantasy

Sexual Fantasy

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.

 Harry Emerson Fosdick 

REFLECTIONS

As I approach the 52nd week of The Other Woman Blog, I have 2 very strong and opposing emotions…joy and fear. I feel joy from recent manifestations of unbridled love but I also feel fear when facing the indeterminate future. The tension created between opposites has been the fundamental energy behind the transformative power of my year. Pictured below, is the image that initiated my Blog…Christ’s arms held apart, in surrender to a greater power, a greater wisdom, as He transitioned from life as he knew it, to life beyond the known. This gesture, metaphorically, became my mantra throughout the year.

Transformation Occurs in the Space Between

Transformation Occurs in the Space Between

Transformation Occurs in the Space Between the Old Life and the New Life

 I was existing in a life that no longer served me but I was far too terrified to step off the edge into an unseen, unknown, unfathomable new life. Herein lay my greatest lesson. The longer I stayed in the old, afraid to leap into the void, the deeper my feelings of depression and despair. When a dam holds back natural flow, stagnation occurs in what is contained…be that a body of water or the body of life. Self-induced repression is death to the spirit, to the soul, to the psyche and eventually to the body.

Stagnation is Death to any Body of Water or Life

Stagnation is Death to any Body of Water or Life

Stagnation Creates Dis-ease

The longer I held myself on the edge of change, too afraid to spring into the new, the greater the build up of repressed energy, the greater the symptoms of dis-ease…To trigger the Old Life/Death/New Life cycle of human transformation, a plunge into the void has to be made. So many times I stood on the edge of the familiar, ready to jump to the unknown, but I couldn’t leap. Instead, I stayed stuck in the rut of the familiar, complaining and blaming. 

We Need Courage and Desire to Face the Unknown

Vienna in July? -Transformation from Mother Mary to Mary Magdalene

I lived in Vienna for 7 years, necessitating innumerable trips between Canada and Europe. I am planning to spend July in Vienna, to celebrate the completion of The Other Woman Blog. Considering I have travelled to Europe many, many times, going this summer, should be very easy to do!

Oh but were this true!

Instead I face the fear of leaping into the unknown…travel as a free and empowered woman!

All of my previous travels to Europe were done in service to others, as wife and mother. When in the nurturing role of Mother Mary, I was purposeful and proficient…no challenge was beyond me. In 1991, with the help of my 11 year old daughter, I moved us into our new home in Vienna. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. My husband was working in Pakistan. During our 7 years, I planned family holidays throughout Europe with ease. In 1996, 1 month after my Mother died in Canada, I flew back to Vienna and organized our move to Albania. My husband was working in Tirana. I am a very competent woman…but only in service to others! Now, in trying become empowered in service to a new life purpose, I am immobilized! I am standing at the edge of the void, afraid to jump into the unknown. I am afraid because I do not and by definition, cannot know the future. What will happen to me in Vienna or worse still, will nothing happen to me in Vienna! I’m equally unnerved by both possibilities.

What will be the impetus for my leap into the void? What force is stronger than fear? I think this force is DESIRE! I must desire the new more than I fear the old, or the courage to leap will elude me. The paradox is that in wanting a new life, its characteristics must be unknown or it could not be called new! Yet it is always the unknown that frightens!

CAN I BRING COLOUR TO  MY VIENNA EXPERIENCE?

MARY MAGDALENE AS ROLE MODEL

I desire the multifaceted characteristics of Mary Magdalene, as she is described in the Gospels. She was a woman that stood by Christ through his life, his suffering, his death and beyond. To me, Christ symbolizes the life-death-new life cycle of a soulful, meaningful existence. Life, congruent with our soul is life where dreams come true, where purpose is felt, where endeavours have meaning. The earliest writings of Mary Magdalene, depict her as a woman of substance, a disciple of Jesus. Her changed status to that of prostitute, came about as the church was gripped by patriarchy. Despite her centuries-old disreputable depiction in religion, art, literature, and in recent prominent fictional books and movies, such as The Da Vinci Code, it is largely agreed today that not a shred of solid biblical or extrabiblical evidence suggests she played the role of harlot.

Thus, symbolically, Mary Magdalene represents the aspect of the strong and spiritual self that stands by in witness to the transition from the death of the old, to the resurrection of the new. The space or void one enters, symbolized by Christ’s cave, may be occupied for some time. Alone and in the dark, one must rely on inner resources for survival.

But in withstanding the pain of a psychic death, the new life, once present, blossoms with spirit, love and creativity.

I have come to believe in the power of the space between thoughts, between breaths, between stars, between old life and new!

Creativity, Love and Spirit in the Space Between the Stars!

Creativity, Love and Spirit in the Space Between the Stars!

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